January 08, 2012
Solomon's Breakfast
Sometimes my friends ask me to settle disputes from money to in law issues. It can be tricky and complicated. Today, Jenny writes "Martin says you don't eat breakfast?"
Dear Jenny,
Thanks for asking. In general, I do not eat breakfast.
But here's some trivia about breakfast and I.
a. when i was a kid, my breakfast always consisted of sliced oranges. Everyday. Sliced oranges. Occasionally, we would have oatmeal. Oranges seemed to be always tart so I didn't understand why I had to keep eating this color that would make my fingers sticky and my tongue curl up.. And when it was oatmeal, we only added milk and the option of a raw egg. No sugar. Again, "what the hell is this I am eating?" On rare occasions, we got avocado! Yay!
b. in community college, i would meet my 2 platonic girl friends in the cafeteria and have a muffin. They were white, smart and had no boobs. The muffin was blueberry.
c. somewhere down the line, I ate a real American breakfast consisting of eggs, sausages and a healthy helping of hashbrown potatoes. I would eat so from time to time. I eventually realized that I regretted eating breakfast because I was still stuffed at noon and I couldn't eat lunch. That made me sad.
d. in grown up college, the "Treehouse" had the bruin breakfast which consisted of 3 pancakes, 3 eggs, 3 sausages and 3 bacons for 3.99. It was something ridiculously cheap. I remember thinking I should come back as an adult for this incredible offer if I was every hungry - They never seemed to check id that early in the morning.
e. pancakes. They're really just desserts for the morning aren't they?
f. When you guys ask me for breakfast, I always feel giddy because I think I'm getting secret time with you guys. After all, I rarely see the 2 of you with other people in your pajamas.
g. I sometimes eat "breakfast" when I pick up my client in Tustin to help me stay awake.. I usually get a turkey sandwich from 7-11. They're a bit small but I enjoy them and it got me to appreciate jack cheese and wheat bread.
h. If people ever make disparaging remarks about "lazy Mexicans", I point at the Ihop near my house on Sunday mornings. The kitchen staff runs like a machine and the servers balance multiple stacked dishes filled with food as they take them to your table. Its an amazing sight to see.
i. I have been reading that it is better to lose weight if you eat breakfast. I assume something small, not like a 841 calorie "Moons over My Hammy".
j. Apples are now my thing for breakfast. Red delicious apples.
k. if you ask me for breakfast, I will always join you but I cannot eat on Friday to Monday since I have to go to Tustin in the mornings. I get back around 10:30