July 15, 2008
Lost in translation
No one likes to have "the talk" and usually no good comes out of it. There seems to be two kinds of conversations, the one where the guy says "hey I like you more than friends" in a very shaky voice which means your game sucked, you never held hands and now you resort to verbal desperation because surely she can't be that dumb (note: she's not) or the other one which is just general malaise and unhappiness with the relationship said in a deep voice.
Mine was the latter and after weeks of building up my untolerance and practicing my barry white, I planned to have my "talk" with...my friend the escort. So I had my mental list of "why did you do that for, that's fucking ridiculous" or "are you shitting me, that's completely idiotic", and since I was driving us, she could not feign bad reception on the phone or decide to use the restroom for an exceptionally long time - I don't smell anything, get out of there!
But apparently her grrl sense was tingling because when I came to pick her up, she gets in with a bundle of bags, bats her eyes and tells me she brought me some catfish to eat because she knows I like fish. No big deal cuz one catfish is not going to get her out of purgatory. I'm still ready to have unleash my fury. But wait. She brought 2 catfish which is very different. Not one but two. Two mints in one. Two hearts that beat as one. That's twice as much as the number one. One has basil and red peppers she fawns while the other is deep fried with a hot chili base. And a fresh mango as well. So now I'm completely confused because my mouth is trying to say one thing but its too busy salivating over that nights meal. So all I could say was "gaaa gaaa gaaa" and just so you know, "gaa gaa gaa" isn't conducive to a meaningful conversation.
Fortunately, the next morning, we had our talk over a mango a go go from jamba juice. Everything seems to be pretty swell the last few days. I think. I don't know. Because you know, girls and their mysterious powers.
Posted by yumyumcha at July 15, 2008 12:36 AM