June 16, 2008
Movie review - scary, green and tough
The Happening:
Is m. night's directing career going downhill because people seem to come out of his films fucking pissed off like they wasted 2 hours of their valuable time - like what were they going to do instead, read a book, go exercise? But this film is is good and creepy beginning with people walking backwards and mass random suicides where construction workers start jumping off girders and people shoot themselves in line as the gun is picked up by the following victim. No one knows whats going on including mark wahlberg as the enthusiastic middle school science teacher who is evacuating the city along with his kinda weird wife, zoe daschnel. She bugs out her eyes alot which you think might be bad acting but apparently everyone acts kinda "off key" in the movie. In most films about the apocalypse, there are always 3 types of people in the world; the lone survivalist who lives day by day, the group of people who are cautious but will take in strangers and the mean people who take resources by force. Thats kinda a the cool thing about the happening is that they don't all fit in those categories. You're really not sure what's going through everyones mind and weather they're odd because of the event or just odd in general. This really is just a bad b-movie with lot of plot holes.
What I learned: You always say "don't say anything" even if you feel stupid when your friend goes "I know" but if you don't, they will. And always take your allergy medicine.
Who will see this movie: High school bio teachers who will recommend it to their students to try being cool and students who will go thinking this will be on the test but it won't.
Did I like it: Yes (although people will get mad at me for this)
The Hulk:
For some reason, an executive back in 2003 thought the incredible hulk would be a good character study about a father son relationship therefore hiring angsty ang lee to explore this emotional vacuum. However, most people want to see a monster in a monster movie doing monster things like crushing cars, knocking down buildings and brawling with other monsters. We don't want so see godzilla have a meaningful conversation with ghidera or minya so why would we want to with the hulk? Fortunately, marvel figure it out this time around and we catch bruce banner in the middle of some city in brazil, learning breathing exercises to calm anger pangs while looking for an antidote to destroy his gamma radiated blood cells. But the military catches up with him which I don't know if they're aware, but flying bullets tend to make people scared and excited. Cue the green mayhem and the rest of the movie is bruce making up with an ex while raging war against mostly 100 dollar a day extras in army outfits and one deranged tim roth who will drink steroid serums to be a testosterone filled abomination.
What I learned: Liv tyler gives unbelievably great sex that ex boyfriends will shy away and that its not a dilemma for the the u.s. military to shoot in a campus filled with students and teachers.
Who will go see this movie: Eric bana wondering why he wasn't called to reprise his role as bruce banner and iron man fans thinking they'll see an awesome cameo by robert downey jr. - its not that awesome.
Did I like this movie: Yes
In Bruge
Of course half of america liked juno and little miss sunshine because they could build up their indie credibility without sacrificing all the sweet saccarine that was sprinkled perfusely in those 2 movies. But will they go see In Bruges where people get killed, a midget talks about hookers and an angry ray fiennes swears alot? Probably not because the general population would rather drink soda than whiskey. Colin Farrell and that big bulgy eye guy from harry potter are the 2 blue collared hit men that go to the city of bruge to hide away for a couple of weeks after a bad shooting. But sonny crockett isn't into the picturesque architect and canals because as he says "if I grew on a farm and was retarded, I might like bruge. But I'm not so I don't". This movie won't get as much attention as miami vice or even swat but this is probably one of collin farrel's better roles.
What I learned: Bruge is in belgium and that a dying man who drags himself across an old wooden floor, look out at the clear starry night, meditate on his life and pull himself over the ledge will fall faster than someone walking down a flight of stairs to that same spot.
Who will go: Senior citizens who think this is a travelogue documentary and hip drunks who need to get in the mood to party by seeing irish actors farrell and gleeson drink at a bar.
Did I like the movie: Yes (not sure why this was re released 3 months later. I hope its the same movie since I saw and wrote this than)
Posted by yumyumcha at June 16, 2008 05:52 PM