June 11, 2008
Damsel in distress
Somewhere between the cheap street walker who's looking at some quick cash for their drug habit and the expensive escorts who count foreign dignitaries and congressman as their clients, are a class of normal looking girls who are just doing the job to make a living. They're not necessarily horny or grew up in a brothel and thats the only life they knew. But for whatever reason, they sometimes fall into the occupation and the money is decent, the risks tolerable and hell, we all jaywalk from time to time. A friend of mine use to work at an escort agency and after 6 months off, wanted to become an "self employed model". She wanted some help and since I reached level 62 as a draenai paladin in world of warcraft, I said "sure why not".
1. We needed a location where she could start work right away, the customers could enter and leave with a certain amount of anonymity and parking was easy - in los angeles, no one wants to hassle an additional 20 minutes looking for damn parking. Nice hotels are obvioius but they're kinda expense in the long run and ideally you don't want to stay longer than 3 or 4 days to start garnering unwanted attention. We found a furnished suite that she could rent month by month. We were the mr. and mrs for the time being which really meant just carrying all her damn luggage. Note to girls: Please do not buy melons and bananas the night before you are moving. They're really not necessary.
2. Of course you just can't say, "hey, is it cool if they splooge over your face?" especially if its not cool. But I needed to know so I could forward the correct information, consequently, we went back and forth with terminology to determine what she did and didn't do.
GFE (Girlfriend Experience). What the hell is that. Some dudes just want their s.o. to dress up like a nun or maybe yell out their names during sex. Everyone is different but there are some standards now that include BBBJ (bareback blow job. No condom) and LFK (light french kissing). So she was down with that.
DATY (Dine at the Y). Thats a yes for receiving oral sex. Why the hell not (other than obvious health reasons), Less work for her with the exception of a few moans and quivers. Some dudes like it, some dudes don't - after all, who's paying whom.
MSOG (multiple shots on goal). More than once within the allotted time. Some girls say yes but it can get annoying. 10 minutes left and he wants to go at it again - c'mon man, dudes sex prowess ain't that awesome.
CIM. Mouth and body is fine. But none on the face please
Greek (Party in the butt). No. That department is only for export, not import.
3. She also needed some new images and its not like she needed a professional photographer. Girls aren't going to lose any business just because ansel adams didn't take their pic in front of yosemite half dome or that annie libovitz didn't make them look like a rock star. Potential customers just wanna see that you don't got extra arms and are fairly close to the body shape you claim to be. And of course that she isn't their sister. So she starts picking different articles of lingerie for her to wear while I snapped away with my digital camera. My new canon has a saturated color setting but I dont' think her clients are going to include wong kar wai or christopher doyle.
A day later, she started getting phone calls from customers so she was pretty happy. Me, I'm hoping I'm getting a lot of experience points for this and get to level 63 pretty soon.